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Domestic Violence

     Its a sad day to learn that statistics show that women are killed mostly-IN THEIR HOME-yes, more than diseases or on the streets.The Women's Wellness Club has chosen Domestic Violence to be their 'pet' club project. We will support efforts to this problem in a number of ways. The first will be to help get out a measure of information to help women know the 'signs' of abuse and the second will be to give them any support information they might need if in fact they are being abused. Please direct any questions about this subject to:    help4abuse@hotmail.com
 
 

Are You Being Abused?

    

     Abuse of power, authority or physical strength can happen anytime to anyone. And the 'abuser' can be anybody you know, parents, marriage mates, people you work with and for, or teachers and friends.

     With fear as their weapon and control as their objective most of the victims do not either realize their being abused or do not wish for others to know that they are being abused. Both of these are fuel for an abusers fire.

     Many people wonder what are the abusers mental problems that seem to allow these to do such terrible things. Victims want to know 'why' them and those who want to help want to know what to do to help. The problem is not only an epidemic its very difficult to treat. So it is frustrating for everyone.

     For those who want to understand the problem we will offer this, abusers have no empathy when they are pushing their will on their victims and no conscience at that time. Also, they have a serious problem with their ego and self-esteem. Both the victim and the abuser can harbor some 'desperate' needs even they are not aware of. Stress has been blamed as the 'trigger' but this is not always the case.

     Because the abuser has 'ego' problems they have a great deal of empathy for themselves. They may hide behind lies or live in an elaborate fantasy about themselves. Either way, when they are threatened to be exposed or held accountable when arrested, they turn masters at manipulation. Its difficult to help them because they do not perceive themselves has having any problems and if they admit to a 'moment of indiscretion' they cannot really see how bad it really was and is.

     Exposing someone who has a problem with abuse will give reason for the abuser to protect themselves at all cost. Protect their lies, manipulations and their reputation. As long as they can control the victim they are safe in their perceive world of intimidation. Informed authorities do all they can to protect the victims now a days but there is alot of room for improvement.

     One of the BEST ways to help this very sad problem is to 'be informed' enough so that if you come across a problem person you can do whatever possible to 'get away' from that person. Most victims are nice people just trying to live life the best they can. What is your best defense? Your greatest protection is NOT to pursue a relationship with someone who manifests abusive tendencies. What are the signs? We will list these on this page.

     Most people might want to forgive and forget these ones and just ignore the problem. THIS IS DANGEROUS when dealing with an abuser. When your 'red flags' go off wave them like crazy and LISTEN to them. Get away BEFORE the relationship gets to the point where you are in danger. YOU will not be able to 'fix' this person with love or intervention.

 

 

RED FLAGS

(SIGNS OF A POSSIBLE ABUSER)

 

  • A LIER AND MANIPULATER
  • ANY UNWANTED PHYSICAL CONTACT
  • ANY THREATS OF HARM
  • ANY INTIMIDATION WITH MALICE
  • NO EMPATHY TOWARD OTHERS
  • SERIOUS LACK OF A GOOD CONSCIENCE
  • MEAN STREAK TOWARD CHILDREN & ANIMALS
  • TO GOOD TO BELIEVE PERSONALITY
  • UNREALISTIC DEMANDS OF OTHERS
  • LACK OF UNDERSTANDING TOWARD OTHERS
  • STORIES OF PERCEIVED INJUSTICES TOWARD THEMSELVES
  • DOES NOT ACCEPT ANY CRITICISM-PERCEIVES THIS AS 'INJUSTICE'
  • ALCOHOL & DRUG ABUSE
  • IMMATURE ABILITY TO COPE WITH LIFES PROBLEMS OR IGNORS LIFES PROBLEMS
  • SERIOUSLY ABUSED AS A CHILD
  • SHOWERS YOU WITH GIFTS OR ATTENTION AND REACTS 'INTENSELY' WHEN YOU PERCEIVE THEM AS 'SO VERY WONDERFUL'
  • BELIEVES THAT THINGS SHOULD BE THEIR WAY OR THE HIGHWAY
  • TALKS YOU OUT OF WHAT YOU WANT AND MAKES YOU DO WHAT THEY WANT(SOMEHOW THATS ALWAYS A BETTER IDEA)
  • YOU FIND YOURSELF ALWAYS HAVING TO SAY YOUR SORRY
  • TO KEEP PEACE YOU ALWAYS LET THEM HAVE THEIR WAY
  • YOUR PERSONALITY IS DWINDLING AWAY
  • YOU COME TO BELIEVE THAT THEY ARE REALLY ACCEPTING YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE OR ARE ENCOURAGING YOU TO BE THE BEST YOU CAN BE BUT WHEN YOU DEMONSTATE YOUR PERSONALITY THAT IS NOT TO THEIR LIKING THEY EMBARRASS YOU, CRITICIZE YOU OR BELITTLE YOU

 

IF YOU ARE WITH A POTENTIAL ABUSER THEN YOU WILL SEE ALL OR SOME OF THESE SIGNS IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP

                            

    

  

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Women's Wellness Club
Visalia California-cos4women@hotmail.com